Thursday, January 17, 2008

How to Pee Outdoors like a Lady

Yup, you just read the words pee and lady in the same sentence. This is a topic that you don’t hear about often on the ladies end of things. So let’s start with a few simple facts. The first is you should be peeing outdoors. I have been out hiking with many friends who say they “just don’t have to pee” and that is just plain scary. If you don’t have to pee there is a good chance that you are not drinking enough water. It is time just pee ladies and here are some tips:

1) Be prepared to walk. While guys think it is alright to do it right on the side of the trail or behind the tent, we cannot. For one, get some class right? Nobody wants to see the yellow snow on the side of the trail. For two, you need front and back coverage. Being a lady means you have to truck it way off the trail to find privacy.

2) Find a tree. Preferably evergreen as these always have good branch coverage. If not, anything wider than you are.

3) What to wipe with. Most ladies choose the TP for obvious reasons the only downfall is you must either bury it, burn it, or carry it out. Other options include leaves (no poison ivy please), snow, ugh or rocks I’ve heard. I think the top choices are as follows: leaves, snow, TP, and I don’t ever want to try rocks.

4) If you spend a lot of time outdoors, you are going to increase your chances of being caught with your pants down. Best thing to do? Joke. Say something like “oh look there is a bear.” This will cause the other person to leave in a hurry rather than just stand there apologizing.

Now get out!


calanan said...

You've got a great blog, when I read,

"How to Pee Outdoors like a Lady

Yup, you just read the words pee and lady in the same sentence..."

...I knew it was going to be good readin'. :)

KrissyGo! said...

You when people ask what you would do if you were the opposite sex for a day? I always say I would go camping and drink tons and tons of water...and then pee EVERYWHERE.

Anyway, thanks for stopping by my blog. Yours appears to be right up my alley! I look forward to becoming one of your regular readers!

Jim Muller said...

Betty - Do you have any experience with GoGirl?

If so would you want to collaborate on a short article about pee bottles for winter camping?

Spiral said...

Er, do you realise that this article decribes everything except how to pee outdoors! What I was hoping to find was best position to squat in, to let the stream out moderately so as not to get splashback, how to arrange clothes so as not to soil them etc. I think the mechanics of doing it is more important than having a joke handy but thanks for giving it a go anyway :)

Anonymous said...

I love to pee outdoors like once I was going for a walk in the bushes with my bf and I said to him that I had to pee so him and I went off the trail to a bush and I squatted there and peed and then I watched him pee on the bush so now him and I are more open with each other so when we go camping I pee right infront of him and we laugh.