Five Signs Your Ride May be Going Terribly Wrong

All of the following is mostly true and has mostly happened to me-- once or twice.

1. You just realized your car keys were in your bike bag, which has been open for the past nine miles.
2. The scenery is looking vaguely familiar at a place you’ve never ridden at before, indicating you’re either developing an ability to see the future or you’ve just biked in a circle.
3. You’ve just passed a sign that says private property and now you’re hearing gunshots behind you—the only direction you know how to get back to your car.
4. You just took a drink of Gatorade from your water bottle and realized you didn’t screw the cap on all the way.
5. Your bike is stuck in one gear mode and you just passed a sign that says steep grade ahead.