Friday, July 24, 2009

More tips on How to Pee Outside like a Lady

It’s my most popular post How to Pee Outside Like a Lady, mainly because it seems so contradictory. Peeing outside and still being ladylike? Hard to imagine. Having had to tuck behind a tree and venture off the path many times to take a tinkle, here is some more advice:

Singing helps

If you are in a populated area, or just trying to keep the onlookers at bay, singing a simple song notifies people that you are nearby. It wouldn’t hurt to have the song be about tinkling in case there was any confusion. Maybe “I am off to take a tinkle….”

The downed tree

Trees or large tree branches that have fallen are great potty seats. Find one that has come down across two rocks or anything that props it up off the ground more.

Flush out wild life before you start peeing

If you are going for the open field pee, consider making a lot of noise prior to the pants pull down. On a recent trip we flushed out 20-30 turkeys before we had our pee.

Minimize buckles

The less layers and buckles and snaps you have to undo the simpler. It also helps for the quick pants pull up when you spot people heading your way.

6 comments:

Jeff Moser said...

You're right, picking the appropriate song is important. Singing HELP! by the Beatles might not be a good idea...

kate said...

a very informative post ;) i always like to have a good view too!

bettymountaingirl said...

Good call on the view! I love the additions to this post that everyone keeps thinking up. Apparently we spend a lot more time, ya know in the woods, than we think!

Lindsey said...

Betty-

I'm a city-turned-country lady who goes outdoors on the regular. At first it was a shocker (why are SO MANY WOMEN accepting of it for men but cannot understand that we are also human and have the same needs?), but now extoll its virtues for us gals. In fact, I think we are totally classier about it-- we think of others' comfort even in this act--- trying to be private, trying to be quick, respectful... more than most men I bet! Can I make a really awesome recommendation? I mean, awesome?
Get a Freshette, or something similar. They are little funnels a chick uses to pee standing up without taking off/down clothes, worrying about front/back coverage, or getting bitten, etc....
I have a Freshette, a Go Girl, several disposable P-mates, hell I was willing to try this out b/c I'm outside all the time. :)
You can even make your own funnel out of half (cut-lengthwise) a plastic water or soda bottle. Even a thick piece of paper could work for a one-time job.
Sounds crazy now, but trust me. You even wipe with the edge of the funnel-- no TP or scary alternatives needed. Just tuck it in a cargo pants pocket or backpack, etc. I keep mine in my barn jacket.
Of course, au naturale squatting is awesome too.
Great blog but this is the first post I've made...
Hilarious.

Linds

Lindsey said...

By the way...my husband doesn't even blink; I went from locking the bathroom door to going right beside him (either standing or squatting) behind the tractor (that I drive, naturally).
He just keeps conversation and barely notices.

And I'm a girly-girl who drives that tractor. ;)

Have I said "awesome blog"? Because, uh, awesome blog! Outdoorsy gals are the best!

bettymountaingirl said...

Thanks for reading and commenting Lindsey!!